Alright, I’m back. I need to resume this blog and continue. I’ve been off on a month-something hiatus due to stress and things that have come up in life.
I would like to speak on the topic of family acceptance and how important it can be to validate your relationship, and make both partners involved feel at ease with one another. I use the term opposite sex couples because not all opposite sex couples are generally heterosexual. Some people are bisexual in an opposite sex relationship. I shouldn’t generalize and say most opposite sex couples are accepted by the family of both partners, but I do think that they generally have it easier. Both opposite sex partners feel validated and accepted by society as a whole for the most part. Opposite sex couples don’t have to work as hard to feel validated by society when they want to hold hands, have moments of affection, or do things that any other couple wants. Every couple wants to feel accepted and left to simply living their life without the hassles of discrimination or prejudice.
Last Christmas (2013), I spent Christmas with my parents and my sister. I wanted to spend it with my girlfriend, but I also didn’t want to get involved with her family dynamics. She was having family from out of town come to visit-family that didn’t know about our relationship. She wasn’t ready, and rightfully so. I don’t blame her. This relationship we have formed is new to her. She’s never dated a woman before. I remember back to when I was 20 and was more or less outed (after several times of me denying it of course). One day I decided to roll with it and it lead to disastrous fall out and endless fights and screaming matches with my family.
Today, several years later, is a different story and my parents love and accept me. But it’s taken them awhile. They’ve met several of my ex girlfriends and now refer to women when they ask about my dating/social life. I admit it was definitely a rocky road. My family was conservative, I was offered with conversion therapy and I had a friend on speed dial who let me crash at a moments notice.
My girlfriend is an adult herself so I know that she might not face such drastic things, but I still hope that things will go well for her if she deals with the negatives of coming out simply because she has fallen for a woman-me. Growing up, I realize that sometimes we also create families outside of blood ties. Those are important to remember as well, I don’t know where I’d be without the bonds I’ve made in the past. I know my girlfriend has good family ties that aren’t bound by blood and that’s essential during tough times-if we should face them as a couple together. We may be in for a rocky ride but we can do this together.
(Photocredit: Woman of Worth)